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In confused effort to avoid eviction from White House, Biden to...

After President Joe Biden’s poll ratings dropped to record lows, anonymous sources claim he is planning to reinstate the recent eviction moratorium...

Biden “relieved our weapons didn’t fall into hands of unlicensed Americans”

Continuing to tout the obvious success of the U.S. withdrawal from Afghanistan, President Joe Biden boasted today that despite thousands of weapons...

Marlboro offers free cigarettes to vaccinated customers

After health product competitor Krispy Kreme began giving away a free doughnut to vaccinated customers, Marlboro has followed suit and is handing...

Biden vaxxes all current citizens, future generations, and a few dead...

After campaigning on a vow to get the COVID-19 pandemic under control, President Joe Biden has successfully gotten the vaccination “into the...

Cuomo apologizes for “inappropriately” slaughtering elderly

After admitting to touching thousands of nursing home patients with his cold hand of death, Governor Andrew Cuomo explained that the gesture...

Shocking studies suggest employment rises when people allowed to work

After President Joe Biden boasted of increasing employment numbers, eagle-eyed economists noticed that the increase in employment seemed to coincide with the...

One-time yoga class attendee takes to sofa to critique Olympic gymnast

After repeat champion Simone Biles abruptly withdrew from further competition in the 2021 Olympics, armchair analysts were quick to give their expert...

Biden says he’s not in bed with Big Tech: “We’re just...

After witnesses claimed to see Mark Zuckerberg doing the walk of shame out of the White House for the third morning in...

Nude Emperor Fauci disputes Rand Paul’s definition of “clothes”

During yet another round of accusations of indecent exposure by Senator Rand Paul, Anthony Fauci explained today that despite his nakedness, he...

King Macron XVI “flattered” by promise of visit by French peasants

After passing his enormously popular vaccine passport mandate, France’s King Macron says he is “pleased and flattered” to hear of a planned...