LATEST ARTICLES

Preschooler wins Biden’s “Make a Law” contest with proposal to ban...

Precocious four-year-old Kamala Smith (no relation to the vice president), of San Francisco’s Super Special Stars Preschool, has won President Biden’s competition...

Press mercilessly grills Biden about favorite color, sports picks, and more

In his first press conference since discovering that presidents are supposed to hold press conferences, President Joe Biden faced an expected barrage...

Psaki holds presser from bow of Titanic, reiterates that Biden “has...

As water rose above her ankles and an orchestra played funeral hymns, White House Press Secretary Jen Psaki placidly held her latest...

Biden finally wins progressive bingo with “maternity flight suits”

After a frustrating losing streak at White House game night, President Joe Biden proudly announced today that he finally won his first...

Trump launches “impeachment coach” business; Cuomo reportedly first client

Petty nursing home residents are evidently attempting to have New York governor Andrew Cuomo impeached before he even has a fighting chance...

Biden undergoes emergency surgery to dislodge foot from mouth

After numerous close calls during his seemingly endless political career, presidential nominee Joe Biden has been forced to undergo treatment for the...

Poll: 47% of US supports abolishing Constitution; other 53% unaware US...

Asked whether the Constitution of the United States should remain the law of the land or should be expunged, nearly half of...

After Tyson donation, Cuomo amends “substantive” definition to include all chicken...

Shortly after insisting that chicken wings did not count as a “substantive” enough meal to allow patrons to order alcohol at bars,...

Poll finds 0% of your friends have changed opinions due to...

After conducting an exhaustive study of your social media interactions (made possible by a partnership with the National Security Administration), Harvard University...

Goya CEO unharmed after protesters hurl bricks of money at company...

After several days of aerial and ground attacks, Goya CEO Bob Unanue and employees are still reported to be “miraculously” unharmed by...