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Fear grips Federal Reserve as ink supply dries up
Records show Rand Paul is sole senator to have passed economics
CNN sends Alito fruit baskets for boosting ratings out of gutter
Biden insists existence of son “Hunter” is Russian disinformation
Biden eliminates hedge clipper manufacturers’ immunity from liability
Politics
Libertarian Party finally mandates beards; all 3 female members forced out
Politics
Putin briefs TikTok stars on state-approved artistic expression
Politics
Patricia Arquette demands Russia be booted from Galactic Republic
Politics
Biden inadvertently grabs wrong paper, reads Trump’s 2020 SOTU
Politics
Kerry urges Putin to consider solar-powered nukes
Politics
Xi consults Joy Behar regarding invasion schedule
Politics
CBS reports that Ukraine crisis motivated Cain’s killing of Abel
Politics
Crazed Ottowa protester throws herself under police horse hooves
Politics
Clinton undergoes salon Teflon spray to prep for scandal season
Politics
Truckers confess to simply being “mad they can’t date” Trudeau
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