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Fear grips Federal Reserve as ink supply dries up

Records show Rand Paul is sole senator to have passed economics

CNN sends Alito fruit baskets for boosting ratings out of gutter

Biden insists existence of son “Hunter” is Russian disinformation

Biden eliminates hedge clipper manufacturers’ immunity from liability

Politics

Libertarian Party finally mandates beards; all 3 female members forced out

Politics

Putin briefs TikTok stars on state-approved artistic expression

Politics

Patricia Arquette demands Russia be booted from Galactic Republic

Politics

Biden inadvertently grabs wrong paper, reads Trump’s 2020 SOTU

Politics

Kerry urges Putin to consider solar-powered nukes

Politics

Xi consults Joy Behar regarding invasion schedule

Politics

CBS reports that Ukraine crisis motivated Cain’s killing of Abel

Politics

Crazed Ottowa protester throws herself under police horse hooves

Politics

Clinton undergoes salon Teflon spray to prep for scandal season

Politics

Truckers confess to simply being “mad they can’t date” Trudeau

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Fear grips Federal Reserve as ink supply dries up

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