Xi consults Joy Behar regarding invasion schedule

PC: Foreign, Commonwealth and Development Office

After colleague Vladimir Putin incurred the annoyance of The View co-host Joy Behar by invading Ukraine during her planned vacation to Europe, Chinese president Xi Jinping has wisely asked her scheduling input prior to attacking Taiwan.

During a recent discussion on her show about the war raging in Ukraine, most of Behar’s co-hosts were initially focused on the loss of life and refugee crisis in the country. But Behar herself evoked the most sympathy, when she tearfully revealed that the calamity might interrupt a planned vacation to Italy.

An avid fan of The View, Xi was reportedly watching at the time and was moved by her emotional confession. Sources say he immediately called off all plans to take over the world and phoned Behar to get her input before proceeding.

As of publication time, Xi has not publicly announced his adjusted conquering timeline. Insiders say that Behar herself will probably be the first to share the update during her wildly popular show, as it is the standard source of news for the majority of Americans.