Smollett falls victim to another invisible sandwich-based hate crime

PC: Jester7777 on Wikimedia

In a blow to the clearly innocent Jussie Smollett, he became the victim of yet another invisible hate crime–again with literally nobody anywhere near him–as soon as he was put into solitary confinement today.

Despite the usual protocol for high-profile cases, the security cameras near his cell were surprisingly operational, and the guards monitoring them were actually awake. But typical of incidents involving the unlucky Smollett, the cameras and guards failed to see any evidence of a second person in his cell.

As psychiatrists asked him later if the culprits were “in the room with us right now,” Smollett confirmed that two racist and homophobic Trump supporters were indeed next to him, and were in fact trying to steal his meatball sub sandwich (which was unfortunately also invisible, but certainly did exist).

Fortunately for Jussie, Vice President Kamala Harris has promised to visit and support him, granted that she could locate him. Due to her inability to find places such as the U.S./Mexico border, concerns remain that she may unfortunately not be able to keep her well-meaning promise. However, she has vowed to at least post a Twitter hashtag supporting him and place a “Free Jussie” profile frame on her Facebook cover photo.