Musk’s Twitter audit finds 80% of users are mindless drones

PC: Dan Taylor / Heisenberg Media on Flickr

After Elon Musk seemed poised to proceed with his buyout of Twitter, his analysis of the users has allegedly put the deal in jeopardy. 

Musk claims that Twitter assured him that no more than 5% of users were mindless drones, otherwise known as “spineless sheep” or simply “weenies.” But he allegedly found upon inspection that the number was more like 80%. 

According to Musk’s own Tweets, he himself examined batches of 100 users for suspicious behavior. He says he discovered that the vast majority of them were guilty of frequently using vapid political talking points and repeating nonsensical quotes from news outlets. 

Even more alarming, he found that almost 100% of them at least “occasionally” engaged in behavior “so stupid that Mother Nature herself must weep for her creation.”

Musk admits that, in retrospect, he should probably have been suspicious of Twitter’s claims.

“The user base is composed of human beings, who overwhelmingly tend toward irrational behavior,” he mused. “Perhaps anyone expecting more is doomed to be disappointed.”