Due to Scheduled Hair-Washing, Devastated Rashida Tlaib STILL Unable to Visit “Beloved” Grandmother

After Israel surprised Rashida Tlaib by granting her “desperate, totally sincere” request to enter the area long enough to see her ailing grandmother, Tlaib’s desired travel plans have once again been thwarted.

Tlaib, who accompanied her first entry request by pointing out that “Israel isn’t a real country anyway, and I’ll probably be a total jerk if they let me in,” was by her own account very pleased to be granted her wish to visit her relative, whom everyone has described as a “real ray of blistering sunshine.” But once she began happily making the necessary preparations, obstacles seemed to come from every side.

“First, they were unwilling to procure the red carpet I had requested,” Tlaib laments. “I didn’t even ask for anything fancy, just something to make me feel welcome.”

And it just got worse from there.

“They were unable–or unwilling–to put me in my chosen hotel. And they expected my assistant to take Uber. Uber, if you can imagine! And they refused to honor my request for a flight that offered a decent movie. They intended to have me watch Grease. Again.”

Surprisingly, Donald Trump himself eventually managed to have her every request met, and Tlaib was “just elated. Really elated. Seriously.” But fate had one more curve ball in store for the congresswoman, and it proved to be the final straw.

“I looked at my calendar,” says Tlaib, “and wouldn’t you know it? That was my one night to wash my hair. I did my best, but it looks like I just can’t possible go see my Grandma Tlaib. Or whatever her last name is.”

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