Meteorologists at a local news station were likely stunned this afternoon when Hurricane Wilma, by all accounts a “vibrant force of nature,” suddenly collapsed into the ocean and failed to surface.
Unfortunately, we have been unable to locate any surviving meteorologists to explain the bizarre occurrence, as the ones employed by the station have all vanished. Fellow reporters at the news channel say that they heard screaming in the weather room, only to rush in and find it empty. Furthermore, all data from the time of the hurricane had mysteriously been erased.
Our reporters in the field could likewise not get any information from bystanders near the beach, as they appeared to be in such shock that they could only mumble repeatedly, “Hillary is a very fine person. That’s all I know.” Some braver witnesses alluded to an embarrassing incident in which the strong winds had knocked Hillary off her feet in a comical manner, after which Hillary had shaken her fist at the sky and screeched what sounded to be a threat. But despite further prodding, the townsfolk avoided answering any more questions and appeared desperate to take all of their “I’m With Her” beach umbrellas and promptly leave the area.