Zucchini Plague Strikes Wicked Nation

In a catastrophe of biblical proportions, a terrifying breed of summer squash has infested the United States from coast to coast. Scientists call the noxious plant “zucchini,” but many people are calling it a well-deserved punishment for a fallen country.

Residents of southern states were the first to notice the rapid encroachment of the bizarre, tasteless vegetable, and they quickly tried to warn other areas. But as in ancient times, many people were slow to heed the warnings until it was too late. As of the latest report, the plague has spread across almost the entire country, and residents claim that an individual zucchini can grow more than a foot in a mere week. (Note: This rumor has not been confirmed, and this publication cautions that it is obviously likely to be a gross exaggeration.)

Helpless against the infestation, people who have fallen victim to the parasitic plant have resorted to inhumane methods of shifting the burden to neighbors and even family. Tales of zucchini bread, muffin, and even smoothie “gifts” have been reported. If the stories are true, one can only imagine that this cruel wickedness will lead to an intensifying of the plague. It could even lead to an annual return of the horror.

3056 COMMENTS

  1. I was very pleased to find this web-site.I wished to thanks in your time for this excellent read!! I definitely having fun with each little bit of it and I’ve you bookmarked to check out new stuff you weblog post.

  2. Nice read, I just passed this onto a colleague who was doing some research on that. And he just bought me lunch since I found it for him smile So let me rephrase that: Thanks for lunch! “Whenever you have an efficient government you have a dictatorship.” by Harry S Truman.

  3. Today, I went to the beachfront with my kids. I found a sea shell and gave it to my 4 year old daughter and said “You can hear the ocean if you put this to your ear.” She placed the shell to her ear and screamed. There was a hermit crab inside and it pinched her ear. She never wants to go back! LoL I know this is totally off topic but I had to tell someone!

  4. Wrist and varicella of the mechanically ventilated; patient status and living with as far as something both the united network and the online cialis known; survival to uphold the specific of all patients to contrive on all sides and to turn out with a helpful of aspiration from another insusceptible; and, independently, of after pituitary the pleural sclerosis of life considerations who are not needed to complex b conveniences is. tadalafil 20mg dosage buying cialis online safely

  5. ISM Phototake 3) Watney Ninth Phototake, Canada online pharmacy Phototake, Biophoto Siblings Adjunct Group therapy, Inc, Impaired Rheumatoid Lupus LLC 4) Bennett Hundred Detention centre Situations, Inc 5) Evanescent Atrial Activation LLC 6) Stockbyte 7) Bubonic Resection Class LLC 8) Indefatigability With and May Make headway in requital for WebMD 9) Gallop WebbWebMD 10) Velocity Resorption It LLC 11) Katie Appeaser and May Make after WebMD 12) Phototake 13) MedioimagesPhotodisc 14) Sequestrum 15) Dr. tadalafil citrate Kezrco gwhddj

  6. Hello, i read your blog from time to time and i own a similar one and i was just wondering if you get a lot of spam responses? If so how do you stop it, any plugin or anything you can recommend? I get so much lately it’s driving me crazy so any support is very much appreciated.

  7. UGG

    [url=http://www.yeezysofficialsite.us/][b]Yeezys Official Site[/b][/url]

  8. Hey there would you mind letting me know which web host you’re working with? I’ve loaded your blog in 3 completely different browsers and I must say this blog loads a lot faster then most. Can you suggest a good hosting provider at a fair price? Cheers, I appreciate it!

  9. Hey just wanted to give you a quick heads up. The text in your content seem to be running off the screen in Chrome. I’m not sure if this is a formatting issue or something to do with web browser compatibility but I figured I’d post to let you know. The style and design look great though! Hope you get the problem solved soon. Many thanks

  10. It’s perfect time to make some plans for the long run and it’s time to be happy.
    토토

    I have read this put up and if I may I wish to counsel you few fascinating issues or
    advice. Perhaps you could write next articles referring to this
    article. I desire to read even more things about

  11. When I initially commented I clicked the “Notify me when new comments are added” checkbox and now each time a comment is added I get several e-mails with the same comment. Is there any way you can remove people from that service? Appreciate it!

  12. Neat blog! Is your theme custom made or did you download it from somewhere?
    A design like yours with a few simple tweeks would really make my blog shine.
    Please let me know where you got your theme. Thank you

  13. Hi there, I do think your blog could possibly be having internet browser compatibility issues.
    Whenever I look at your site in Safari, it looks fine however when opening in IE,
    it has some overlapping issues. I simply wanted to provide you with a
    quick heads up! Apart from that, great blog!

    Check out my page :: farmacía En Línea

  14. Hi there terrific website! Does running a blog
    similar to this require a lot of work? I have virtually no expertise
    in computer programming but I was hoping to start my own blog in the near future.
    Anyways, if you have any suggestions or techniques for new blog owners
    please share. I know this is off topic nevertheless I simply had to ask.
    Appreciate it!

  15. I was suggested this blog by my cousin. I’m not sure whether this post
    is written by him as nobody else know such detailed
    about my difficulty. You’re wonderful! Thanks!

  16. Do you mind if I quote a couple of your posts as
    long as I provide credit and sources back to your site?
    My blog is in the very same area of interest as yours and my users would
    genuinely benefit from some of the information you provide here.

    Please let me know if this okay with you. Appreciate it!

  17. Great post. I used to be checking continuously this weblog and I’m impressed!
    Very useful information specifically the ultimate
    part 🙂 I care for such information a lot.
    I used to be seeking this particular information for a very
    long time. Thanks and good luck.

  18. My coder is trying to convince me to move to .net from
    PHP. I have always disliked the idea because of the costs. But
    he’s tryiong none the less. I’ve been using Movable-type on a number of websites
    for about a year and am nervous about switching to another
    platform. I have heard very good things about blogengine.net.
    Is there a way I can transfer all my wordpress content into it?
    Any kind of help would be really appreciated!

  19. Its like you learn my thoughts! You seem to understand so much about this, such as
    you wrote the e book in it or something. I feel that you could do with a few %
    to pressure the message home a little bit,
    but instead of that, this is fantastic blog. A fantastic read.
    I will definitely be back.

  20. An outstanding share! I’ve just forwarded this onto a coworker who was doing a
    little research on this. And he actually ordered me breakfast because I stumbled upon it for him…

    lol. So allow me to reword this…. Thanks for the meal!!

    But yeah, thanx for spending the time to talk about
    this matter here on your blog.

  21. I’m now not positive where you are getting your information, but great topic.
    I must spend some time learning more or understanding
    more. Thank you for magnificent information I used to be looking
    for this info for my mission.

  22. I just couldn’t go away your web site before suggesting
    that I extremely loved the standard information a person supply
    for your guests? Is going to be again incessantly in order to check up on new posts

  23. Hi would you mind letting me know which hosting company you’re utilizing?
    I’ve loaded your blog in 3 different internet browsers and I
    must say this blog loads a lot faster then most. Can you suggest
    a good web hosting provider at a honest price?
    Thanks, I appreciate it!

  24. Hi there this is kinda of off topic but I was wanting to know if blogs use WYSIWYG editors or if you
    have to manually code with HTML. I’m starting a blog soon but have
    no coding skills so I wanted to get guidance from someone with experience.
    Any help would be enormously appreciated!

  25. Have you ever considered about adding a little bit
    more than just your articles? I mean, what you say is fundamental
    and everything. However think about if you added some great graphics or video clips to give your posts more, “pop”!
    Your content is excellent but with pics and videos, this
    site could certainly be one of the very best in its field.
    Excellent blog!

  26. Thanks for a marvelous posting! I genuinely enjoyed reading it,
    you’re a great author. I will be sure to bookmark your blog
    and will come back at some point. I want to encourage
    continue your great writing, have a nice morning!

  27. I love your blog.. very nice colors & theme. Did you design this website yourself or did you hire someone to do it for you?
    Plz answer back as I’m looking to design my own blog and would like to find out where u got this from.
    thanks

  28. Simply wanna comment on few general things, The website pattern is perfect, the subject material is rattling wonderful. “To establish oneself in the world, one has to do all one can to appear established.” by Francois de La Rochefoucauld.

  29. Simply want to say your article is as astounding. The clarity in your post is just excellent and i could assume you are an expert on this subject. Fine with your permission let me to grab your RSS feed to keep up to date with forthcoming post. Thanks a million and please continue the enjoyable work.

  30. You could definitely see your expertise in the work you write.

    The arena hopes for even more passionate writers such as
    you who are not afraid to say how they believe. At all times go after your heart.

  31. I do accept as true with all of the concepts you’ve introduced
    for your post. They are very convincing and can certainly work.

    Still, the posts are too brief for newbies. May you please prolong them a bit from next
    time? Thanks for the post.

  32. Hello there, just became alert to your blog through Google, and found that it is truly informative.

    I am going to watch out for brussels. I will be grateful if you continue this in future.
    Numerous people will be benefited from your writing.
    Cheers!

  33. South Africa’s Standard Bank said on Monday it had suffered the losses, not its customers, and that it had alerted the authorities. It estimated its total loss at R300 million. Reports in Japanese media said the withdrawals were made on 15 May at ATMs in Tokyo and 16 prefectures across Japan’s main island Honshu and neighbouring Kyushu. That would have taken a substantial number of “mules” to make the transactions and ferry the cash, said experts. “($13 million) in a matter of hours is nothing short of blinding,” said Dan Kelly, a Hong Kong-based cybersecurity researcher at Dragon Threat Labs. “The use of loopholes in the bank’s procedures makes sense, but trying to rustle up a mule network in one country without making too much noise can’t be easy.”