Bernie Sanders tells whining Venezuelan to “keep that down a little bit”

In a highlight of his presidential campaign, Senator Bernie Sanders visited the thriving country of Venezuela to visit fans, swap fond memories of the late Hugo Chavez, and get tips on successful socialist living. While there, he gave some rather spoiled locals a gentle ribbing over their complaints about the minor drawbacks of their government system.

In between bites of what appeared to be a delicious roasted family dog, one woman inexplicably interrupted Sanders to fuss that her food supply was getting dangerously low. Although one could clearly see by her abundant meal that this was not the case, the affable Sanders just chided her mildly, asking her to “keep that down a little bit” and allow him to finish his prepared speech.

Without missing a beat, Sanders continued to extol the virtues of their style of government to the eager crowd, reminding the people that they hadn’t yet achieved “real socialism” and that any petty problems would resolve themselves once that had occurred. 

“Give it just a little more time,” counselled Sanders sagely. “You haven’t achieved total equality yet, but eventually everyone will be equally hungry, and you won’t have these little jealousy issues we’ve seen here today.”