Alyssa Milano to debate Neil deGrasse Tyson on “immoral” physics laws

After triumphing in debates on all known political subjects, actress/activist Alyssa Milano is now poised to address other areas of interest to her. She spent several years sweeping her way through Washington, and she now seems eager to bring the same level of devotion to issues plaguing the scientific community. 

And she has her sights set on Neil deGrasse Tyson.

Their feud began when Milano demanded that scientists enact common-sense gravity control, citing statistics showing that it was one of the leading causes of death and injury. Tyson made the mistake of arguing that gravity would continue to exist no matter what new laws of physics he attempted to pass, and Milano apparently took issue with the flimsy excuse. She insisted that he take action, saying she would “storm the lab” if her demands weren’t met. 

Tyson agreed to a discussion with her, but apparently only after his livelihood was threatened by Milano’s release of a damning “gravity map.” Milano has instructed all of her underlings in the entertainment industry to avoid areas still governed by the dangerous force, and she claims that his broadcasting studio is the no-go zone. 

“He obviously only agreed to this to keep his name in the limelight,” she stated, “but not everyone has the noble motives that I do.”