Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez snubbed for Lifetime Achievement Award

In a week full of award upsets, Gucci watch model Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez is reportedly the latest casualty. An inside source says the Lifetime Achievement Awards (LAA) committee has inexplicably overlooked AOC in favor of “some unknown underachiever” known as the Dalai Lama. 

And her supporters want an explanation. 

“I don’t know what else they could have wanted in a candidate,” wailed one tearful admirer. “Supposedly the person they picked was an old white guy. So it was obviously racism. Except he might not have been white, but he was a guy. And probably old or something.

“I don’t know why they always choose ancient wrinkly people for this award,” she finished angrily.

Another AOC fan agreed, “It’s like they don’t even care who the activist personality of the moment is. AOC is totally popular right now, and she’s not even getting credit for it.

“Also, she’s traveled to totally scary poor places to model her watches. Has this guy ever gone to any of those places? And she does it all for practically no money. I mean, except that raise she just got, and she said that wasn’t even like a raise. So she gets literally nothing for doing all this, and now she doesn’t get an award either.

“Old people who do boring stuff always ruin it for the good people,” she concluded eloquently.