ABC admits purported Syria video was just reel of “Platoon” outtakes

In an apparent effort to become the New York Times of network television, ABC recently aired what it erroneously claimed was footage of Trump personally throwing grenades at Kurdish soldiers. But, just as “journalists” at the Times would have done, ABC executives have since apologized sincerely for getting caught. 

More importantly, they have vowed to use more realistic movie clips next time. 

The footage initially aroused suspicion when viewers questioned the presence of Charlie Sheen in Syria, but ABC execs brushed off the concern as “just another Russian conspiracy.” Most mainstream media fans were placated by this logical explanation, but a few apparent Alex Jones followers insisted on pressing the network for answers that they liked better.

After some intense research, which supposedly involved looking at the name of the movie written right on the YouTube clip, ABC honchos removed the video and issued their apology. Sources say this is the last time they will use clips from PewDiePie’s YouTube channel, and that if they do, they will be more careful to avoid any that have Charlie Sheen featured so prominently in them.