After another cast member of erstwhile television hit Charmed appears to have fallen victim to a mysterious mental ailment, the Environmental Protection Agency (EPA) has begun looking into the possibility that the water on set was compromised. The behavior of Rose McGowan, formerly completely normal and not at all unhinged in any way, has recently begun deteriorating at a rapid pace.
Suspicions about tainted water initially arose when previous Charmed actress Alyssa Milano began what most assumed to be a friendly competition with President Donald Trump over who could compose the most nonsensical Tweet. However, alarm soon followed, as it appeared that her words were not intended in jest.
After relatively innocuous claims of being one of the “trans gay Kenyan alien pod people,” Milano began to spout more concerning avowals of being a firearms and political policy expert. And mere words devolved into wearing Strawberry Shortcake outfits and storming the guarded offices of actual head of state.
As concern mounted over Milano’s actions, fellow former cast member Rose McGowan began showing similar signs of illness, and a recent online outburst has the public in a state of panic. After claims of being held hostage in a country which (reportedly) actually allows its citizens to leave at any time, McGowan inexplicably begged a group of serial killers to save her from her country’s “terrorist regime.”
Scientists have begun monitoring all remaining former Charmed employees for symptoms of illness, but thus far, members such as Shannen Doherty seem to be displaying no signs of the mystery disease. In fact, her behavior since her Beverly Hills, 90210 days seems to have dramatically improved, and experts are more baffled than ever at what substance could have turned the Who’s the Boss? girl into a victim of clear delusions, while rendering Shannen Doherty a model of sanity.