Displaying the modesty and selflessness that viewers have come to expect from the Hollywood elite, Michelle Williams used her Golden Globe acceptance speech to thank the heroes who made her life of luxury possible.
“For powerful women to achieve their dreams, sometimes they have to kill human beings that are less powerful,” gushed an emotional Williams. “I’m just grateful that I was able to choose what happened to someone else’s body, so that I didn’t have to suffer the inconvenient consequences of my own decisions.”
Williams went on to express gratitude not only for the child who had died to help her career, but also for the physicians and scientists who had enabled her success.
“I want to thank my doctor, who totally upheld his Hypocritical Oath, as well as the inventor of the the sopher clamp, without which it would be super hard to cut off limbs in utero. Also, the guy who thought to use saline to poison someone before they’re even born? Pure genius.”
She finished with a laugh, “What would we women do if we couldn’t kill helpless kids who got in our way?”