Tlaib slams St. Patrick’s Day, Lent, and “especially” National Puppy Day

Image by Mitzi Mandel from Pixabay

After President Donald Trump wished the world a happy St. Patrick’s Day, an indignant Rashida Tlaib appeared to lash out at not only the beloved Irish holiday, but also every other commemoration, celebration, or day of goodwill, “especially anything to do with puppies, because I hate those the most.”

Quoting heroes David Hogg and Oscar the Grouch, Tlaib took to twitter on Tuesday to respond to the “unnatural displays of happiness” to which she had been subjected on “yet another hateful holiday.” She began by retweeting a typically profound and helpful comment from Hogg (which unfortunately cannot be reprinted due to obscenity laws), and when attacked by an unacceptably perky slew of replies, Tlaib invoked Oscar’s sage catchphrase to explain her displeasure at the holiday spirit.

“You’d be a grouch too, if you lived in a stupid luxury apartment paid for by stolen tax dollars.”

Tlaib concluded by calling on her fellow curmudgeons to avoid any professions of hope, tenacity, or happiness in the face of current challenges.

“Be it the upcoming National Puppy Day, or the more widespread evil of International Waffle Day, we must hold fast to our determination not to let the plucky human spirit prevail.

“And by the way, I also hate glitter, kittens, and the cheerful color yellow. So I don’t want to see any of those either.”

Editor’s Note: Tlaib later explained that she really didn’t mean any of the things she tweeted and was simply trying to “bring attention to the need for meaningful action to combat this public health crisis.”

Yes, we know. We don’t get it either.