Precocious four-year-old Kamala Smith (no relation to the vice president), of San Francisco’s Super Special Stars Preschool, has won President Biden’s competition to create the best new national law. Her proposal to outlaw “minty” (menthol) cigarettes has garnered acclaim from dozens of people across the nation, and it won the enthusiastic support of the president himself.
And her parents couldn’t be more proud.
“When I was in preschool, I petitioned to have crack possession penalties made 100 times that of regular cocaine,” says Kamala’s mother, Shoshannah Smith. “And my husband was one of Biden’s advisors who helped make it happen. Now our daughter is helping to protect people from themselves, just like we did.
“I feel like I’ve passed the torch of saving black people–against their will–to the next generation.”
Biden has promised to make his contest, which stipulates only that the suggestions must be bans and not repeals of existing law, an annual event. This inaugural year drew a massive number of entries, with ideas ranging from outlawing naptime to forbidding different foods from touching each other on the dinner plate, and formats including crayon drawings and finger paintings.
Biden says he hopes that next year’s winning idea will be even more unconstitutional and racist than this year’s, although he admits that “the bar has been set pretty high already.”