Nude Emperor Fauci disputes Rand Paul’s definition of “clothes”

By Edmund Dulac -

During yet another round of accusations of indecent exposure by Senator Rand Paul, Anthony Fauci explained today that despite his nakedness, he was actually wearing clothes. The confusion apparently resulted from Dr. Paul’s failure to understand fashion terminology, probably due to his lack of significant education or intellect.

Senator-Doctor-Duke-University-Graduate Paul has continually accused Doctor Fauci of failing to wear clothes as required by law, and Fauci has been forced to repeatedly clarify that the feeble-minded Paul simply does not know the definition of the term “clothes.” 

“My nudity does not constitute the absence of clothing,” Fauci patiently explained at today’s hearing. “You have no idea what you are talking about, and I would like the record to state that despite being naked as the day I was born, I am fully clothed.”

The media dutifully noted that Dr. Fauci was in fact wearing a most splendid suit of clothes, with numerous publications putting him on their best-dressed lists.