Goya CEO unharmed after protesters hurl bricks of money at company...

After several days of aerial and ground attacks, Goya CEO Bob Unanue and employees are still reported to be “miraculously” unharmed by...

Study confirms voting Republican greatly increases COVID-19 risk

CNN’s guest medical experts just completed the most scientific investigation to date on COVID-19 risk factors, and they found that, as expected,...

NBC’s unbiased experts say COVID only spreads at conservative rallies

After critics accused NBC of targeting only conservative events as “danger zones” for COVID-19 transmission, the news outlet explained that the reason...

Warner Bros. to Fudd and Sam: “Nobody is taking your guns”

After police executed a no-knock “red flag” raid and confiscated the firearms of Elmer Fudd and Yosemite Sam, the Warner Brothers executives...

Paw Patrol officer’s lurid history includes public urination, leg molestation

As more reports of police misconduct have come to light, investigative journalists at MSNBC have unearthed possibly the worst offender to feature...

CNN nabs Best Fictional News Series award for third consecutive year

In the tightest race for the award to date, CNN edged out Fox News and MSNBC to win the prize for Best...

Shutdown extended until populace can be retrained to put on pants

After a debate over lifting shutdown measures nearly resulted in a civil war, the two sides suddenly reached a surprising agreement to...

Poll confirms those who disagree with you “want people to die”

As the debate rages over the ideal COVID-19 protocol, experts have been able to agree on only one point: anybody who has...

WHO now advises masks be worn over just right nostril and...

In what they emphasize is “really, for sure, the last time we are going to change our minds on this,” the World...

Lunatic Trump suggests injecting magical “antibiotics” to kill invisible “bacteria”

Hot on the heels of his bizarre proposal to inject virus-killing agents into virus-infected patients, President Donald Trump has moved on to...